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Next year is the 20th
anniversary of the International Year of the Family. But in its twilight, 2013 seems
bent on rubbing scornful irony in the face of the very concept, Family.
In a space of thirty
days, we have witnessed a leader execute his uncle without any tremor; we have
jointly called for the head of a Governor... for what offence? his gentle reprimand
of a widow to unite with her husband; and in the last fortnight, we have read
the nightmare-version of a daughter's
letter to her aged dad. Add these to
that drama when kids were 'accidentally' treated to an adult-flick while
awaiting a Disney movie as well as the steady wave of very public and messy divorces
this year; and the number-churners will start drawing near-empirical statements
about 2013. Oh, I hear the Chinese called it the Year of the Snake. Go figure then.
As if that is not
enough; the music died. Yes, the radio
airwaves rounded off this year with threats of suspending play of some of our
favourite songs due to a face-off between BON and COSON. My sentiments on copyright
as a lawyer now fight with my primal desire for music. An ugly situation to
face at Christmas. I had predicted earlier this year on this Medium that
there would be a rise in awareness of Entertainment Law. But I had hoped for a
negotiated approach to gradually carter for our nascent creative Industries.
Sadly, it appears negotiations have failed. And this Christmas, one will battle
an additional temptation: to illegally
download or not, in the face of silent FM stations
No family. No music...then,
where is the Christmas? (à la Black-eyed Peas)
So, in line with recent
practices, I write this open letter to the Powers proposing a suspension of
Christmas down here, this year and for some time...
It reads:
To the Powers...
How do we even start
saying compliments of the season with
a straight face, when the harmattan season is fast getting extinct across many
of our principal cities? Surely, the heat-waves cannot accommodate Santa,
considering his North Pole orientations. Come to think of it, don't you think
it has been a bit discriminatory to make certain climes more acceptable to
Santa than others? It is arguable that the scant-pleasures of our Christmas
celebrations down here may have something to do with Santa's grumpiness when
forced to land in the adverse weather of the tropics. So, we sing of snowy
nights while our skins brutally crack in the dryness of the day. We therefore
start with a recommendation that upon its reinstatement, our Christmas be
complete with a customized Santa, moulded to happily thrive here for all 12
days of Yuletide.
Now, ours is a crumbling society. There is a myriad
cases in our courts, and many more will be commenced. These cases stem from strife,
oppression and corruption. We want to see them through to the bitter end, and
do not wish to be imposed with compulsory-goodwill and amnesia - in the spirit of the season. We want the mental space to follow up on the
oil subsidy scams and associated counter-accusations, we want to conclude the pension
fund fraud accusations, we want fair and decisive judicial appraisal of all
high officers who have erred within the year. If we must forgive because it is
Christmas; then, Christmas goes.
We do not want to conduct Christmas-time visits to
the prisons and meet only the guilty poor and defenseless. who are conveniently
within reach. As a Lawyer, the hypocrisy is not lost on me when we pile loads
of Indomie and rolls of tissue-paper for their use during Christmas. We put
them there, by heating up the society in our failure to reach the guilty rich. We
have only done our jobs halfway and the corrective sword of Justice is not deserving
of holidays, until its job is complete.
Sirs, how can we possibly celebrate Christmas in the
face of the rot of our Universities? Our fresh-blooded youths have spent
7-months hibernating in idle splendour while ASUU grappled with the FG. Now,
the school-doors are to be closed again for Christmas holidays? No way!
We shall not sing cheery Carols; we shall not
detonate colorful fireworks in camaraderie. WE are not real friend to one
another. We sit and watch us self-destruct, and then lift a ceremonial helping
hand at the close of every year, to ease our dying consciences.
WE do not want to avail our brethren abroad the smug
opportunity of sending down dollars and fancy clothes (on Sale in European stores);
a yearly display of their superiority in earning-power backed by a functional
and responsible leadership. We cannot
validly celebrate Christmas when 54% of young Nigerian were unemployed in the
past year. They have been on a perpetual holiday. Christmas starts when they
actually start working.
We do not want year-end crusades where private jets
float down and their glossy owners anoint followers with hope that never dies.
We need to soberly lift ourselves out of these self-inflicted doldrums, without
disproportionately heaping it all on the unseen.
Our Country is still intact, but barely. Many
regions are on an emergency ruler-ship and near-chaos. We cannot wish them
away. How can we party during the festivities with one eye continually open in
the awareness that we still sit on a keg of long-ignored gunpowder? We are
warned that public hangouts should be warily approached during the holidays;
well, let's save everyone the efforts and call off the whole thing altogether. We
might as well be spending the period with those prison inmates, in the safe harbor
of military and police barricades.
We will not need to kill cows and goats and send out
cases of champagne to our rich benefactors in government, making them beat
their chests at the honored positions they have earned in the hearts of their
subjects, and encouraging them on their soiled paths.
The euphoric exchange of gifts and cards should cease.
I should not be forced to bestow goodwill on my neighbour who constantly plays
that obnoxious song: "I no like this
your touching body...". The only sincere thing I wish him is poverty,
so that he can sell that bloody
Generator that robs me of sleep.
The holidays should stand suspended until the end of
2014; at which time they Year would have had its chance to redeem its image as the
2nd successful decade of Family, and nationhood.
Humbly yours....
Massai
*************** ********************** ******************
Meanwhile, I am here in a Boutique, irritating the
attendants with my naive questions while combing their racks for a perfect Christmas
dress for my daughter. I will take my leave.
By the time Christmas is reinstated, I should have
matured into a better person, focused on my tasks and priorities and healthily involved
in purposeful engagement with same-thinking citizens, each cleansed from the licensed-Epicureanism
of the season.
So, in my old age, if my daughter picks up a pen to
do me an open letter, I will rest assured that the words will be grateful and
endearing.
In the meantime folks. Have yourselves a regular lunch...until
the suspension is lifted
Happy Holidays...
