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Features the best wordplay from our readers. We also accept incisive one-liners from the News.
(Please forward your lines to theunstarchedcollar@gmail.com)

  1. Authorship is largely a question of write OR wrong
  2. You need to sweat a bit before you deserve your fans
  3. death sentences have few words
  4. Crime gallops on a swift horse & the Law is an Ass/But donkeys live forever, while horses soonest pass 
  5. Time waits for no One...Its 2'O'clock already!
  1. Same sex marriage has gone down as the most controversial topic in History's annals.
  2. many are Left to die despite their Right to Life 
  3. "Absolute Power corrupts..." says PHCN.

  1. Stay scared of Negatives and u wont make the big picture (Mary Gold Idemili- Goldie Lux)
  2. ‎"Ever noticed that when you pay a bill, you get a receipt/but when you pay attention, you don't get a re-sit?" (Ken Uzim)

  1. You have to give girls Credit. Even when they are not Alone, they always generate Interest
  2. It is scientific fact that only the debased think of acid baths
  3. Police is your friend...in need

  1. If people describe you by starting with "Well..." then, you really are a Bore
  2. The fear of debt stops many from spending life freely
  1. Time is a feminist; it waits for absolutely no man (Caleb Utsu)
  2. when nature wants to slow population acceleration; it applies the heart-break
We often lie to have dreams; yet some of them come true

liquidity is never a problem for fishermen because they are guaranteed net profits.

Indecision is ugly; make up your mind

DAY 10
  1. Losing one's sense of humour is not funny at all. (Gabriel Agwu)
  2. How do you define Lobbying?- An aye for an aye.
DAY 11
  1. Fashion often wonders why there is so much dressing down in Law suits
  2. The varicose often seeks attention; it is clearly Vain
  3. Back in the days, racists used white females for blackmail
DAY 12
My firm's 'no cigarettes policy' is summarized this way:No Smoke without Fire

DAY 13
He is alcoholic...because his wife makes the best whines

DAY 14
Stop complaining; the world's sphere enough

DAY 15
Many people experience loss once; and never try a-gain

DAY 16
Maybe we need Catholic leaders...who can at least hear the Masses

DAY 17
Its quite a poor-trait for the artist not to draw a decent wage

DAY 18
Most rulers are not straight; and fail to draw the line against evil

DAY 19
I read; now i have conjunctivitis

DAY 20
The papers say an Antiques Store was just robbed. But its still old News

DAY 21
Its no coincidence that Half-baked education produces ill-bred loafers

DAY 22
  1. I overwork my mental field and don't expect my-graine? (Caleb Utsu)
  2. Our poor secretary is morally Weak. Now he is in jail doing Time for faking the Minutes
DAY 23
Seven days without love make one weak (Emeka Okeke)

DAY 24
Welfare for maniacs is a Fundamental subject (Uzochukwu Odonwodo)

DAY 25
A candle in the wind would last long if the wick is strong (Emelie Morris Anekwu)

DAY 26
You are finished as a player if by age 20 you still don't score...

DAY 27
If Witches were horses; they would be night-Mares

DAY 28
Grammar should have taught us that continuous worry over the future makes the present, tense.

DAY 29
Law of proper positioning: Don't back down from whats up front...just be quick to Decide!

DAY 30

In the Harmattan: Many are cold few are frozen (Mbah Chukwuemeka)

DAY 31
Since birth has Death be-gun; so Life is shot...

DAY 32
Poetry is adverse to Prose

DAY 33
When people want to take a piss on you; they say "na we-we"

DAY 34
Money is the root. no wonder broke people are ruthless.

DAY 35
Christmas- the only time Liverpool have Carroll's playing (Ebele Malcom Okolo)

DAY 36
In life as in sentences, a coma always precedes the full & final stop

DAY 37
Champagne for my real friends; and real pain for my sham friends (Chukwukaelo Chika)

DAY 38
Irony is - we are barely abreast of happenings in the Milky way/Most 
Marriages take place in a Single day/Expecting positive answers, we still close our 'ayes' when we pray/Cassius floored his opponents, bouncing- yet those were feet of Clay!

DAY 39
On life's ladder, rung steps are often inevitable

DAY 40
At birth you begin a life sentence. At death, you get a parole (Ken Uzim)

DAY 41
Rule of Law: a Dicey affair

DAY 42
Bosses are like skin irritations; they always itch to make rash decisions

DAY 43
She says I'm too leisurely about marriage. I ask, is a Hubby not all about leisure?

DAY 44
My new pa's not just cruel. He's a step farther

DAY 45
Half baked education: ill bred loafers.

DAY 46
Once again, it is thyme to curry favour with seasons greetings.

DAY 47
‎'Sixty seconds': enough to say all you've got to say if you really 'mean it' (Caleb Utsu)

DAY 48

Horticulture: the practice of proud people (Uzochukwu Odonwodo)

DAY 49
Man proposes; God provides the bride-price (Gomiluk Otokwala)

Day 50
Why did the little biscuit cry? coz his mum and dad have been a wafer too long (Ken Uzim)

DAY 51
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. (Ken Uzim)

DAY 52
In the north, you could "loose a limb" for such an 'offhand' comment on Islam (Caleb Utsu)

DAY 53
An author builds his house brick by brick, making use of writer's block (Eketi Aime Ette)

DAY 54
A baker's conversation goes in circles. Call it a pie-chat

DAY 55
awkward moment when the boss turns around to 'implore ye'

DAY 56
The beauty of Arik has made Aero plain

DAY 57
Life fades away. So in the end, we dye

DAY 58
No be me start am; na Jason Statham (Maco Picaso)

DAY 59
The colour of War is blood. so we Hate Red? / Yet everyday we paint -with the oils of Hatred

DAY 60
I won't Sell out to another...cos I cant get BY without U 


- Those who live with a Motto have the most drive

-Faith without work makes you and Idle woshipper

- Watch it teachers: your pupil dots his "i"s as he lens how to con ya

- Indecision is ugly. Tis a prettier mental state after the mind is made up

- Getting fired is like walking a closed street. Little wonder its CALLED THE SACK.

- "Life Sucks" said the pair of shoes. "U cant avoid defeat" said the pair of socks. "You keep slipping into cracks" the Thong moaned. "and its hard to stay abreast" The Bra agreed. "Problems keep sticking out" piped the Boxers shorts. "It brings me close to tears" said the Contact Lens. "One minute you are lifted, the next, you drop to the floor" yelled the Skirt. "Most times, I'm worn out" The Condom sniffed. "But its still a fair world". The Bleaching Cream smiled. 

- The president is the cook, the economy loses spice; and we live on borrowed thyme.

- Lust is bed-ridden love

- The Public Sector is like Part 2 of the movie Living in Bondage: No Merit

- I am not really a Priest; what you see is my altar-ego

- I have left the author's block; and moved a little more to the write

- Live in a glass house and face the risk of a broken home

- MAN: Lady, if I wanted to rub you the runway, I will say you are so plain, you can only attract a pilot
- He prefers love outdoors with his Lass/so daily he falls from Grace to grass

- In a golden maze as i cross the rubicorn

- She asked "How much are you ready to stake-for-my-heart? And I replied: You'll be better off dating Van Helsing

- The race is for the turf. The weak take flight

- Those two great Williamses tried to teach us a Words worth: It breaks dynasties and Shakes peers

- Relationship Watch: I grow weak and in a daze every time you say "our"/do you really mean-it, or u simply want me every second under your power? 

- Every girl's life starts with "Doll" moments. So they need all the drama that their adult lives bring

- Your dead dad said that you were  a spoke in his wheels/So I guess you can guess what he spoke in his Wills

- How to ride a Boss: 1. Don't lose at the staring. 2. Press firmly on your Breaks. 3. Never neutralize your Drive. 4. Watch your back...for the boot. 5. Do not give a hoot; even if he has horns. 6. Exhaust all smoky areas. 7. Always activate the Alternator

- Igbo boy raised on three-pence: A thorough bred

- Your smile is the bomb; you must be using a grin-aid

- Many are Left to die; despite their Right to life

- Our Rulers always open their mouths; yet no straight talks

- If you train your child well; he will not derail

- Don't worry about the money; work for the name/even money cant resist the allure of fame

- Naturally, lousy folks are given the hair-dryer treatment

- PHCN should not be treated lightly

- Words often fail me when I want to pass a sentence on you

- No matter how new a Clock is; it still needs a second-hand to stay active

- To ensure the triumph of write over rung; every journalist should avoid the lures of the social ladder

- The cost of living is high; what is the Naira smoking?

- New Year lesson from Cameras and their megapixels: Focusing on the big picture is the best resolution

1 comment:

  1. in this dry season: many are cold, few are frozen