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Features the best wordplay from our readers. We also accept incisive one-liners from the News.
(Please forward your lines to firstname.lastname@example.org)
- Authorship is largely a question of write OR wrong
- You need to sweat a bit before you deserve your fans
- death sentences have few words
- Crime gallops on a swift horse & the Law is an Ass/But donkeys live forever, while horses soonest pass
- Time waits for no One...Its 2'O'clock already!
- Same sex marriage has gone down as the most controversial topic in History's annals.
- many are Left to die despite their Right to Life
- "Absolute Power corrupts..." says PHCN.
- Stay scared of Negatives and u wont make the big picture (Mary Gold Idemili- Goldie Lux)
- "Ever noticed that when you pay a bill, you get a receipt/but when you pay attention, you don't get a re-sit?" (Ken Uzim)
- You have to give girls Credit. Even when they are not Alone, they always generate Interest
- It is scientific fact that only the debased think of acid baths
- Police is your friend...in need
- If people describe you by starting with "Well..." then, you really are a Bore
- The fear of debt stops many from spending life freely
- Time is a feminist; it waits for absolutely no man (Caleb Utsu)
- when nature wants to slow population acceleration; it applies the heart-break
We often lie to have dreams; yet some of them come true
liquidity is never a problem for fishermen because they are guaranteed net profits.
Indecision is ugly; make up your mind
- Losing one's sense of humour is not funny at all. (Gabriel Agwu)
- How do you define Lobbying?- An aye for an aye.
- Fashion often wonders why there is so much dressing down in Law suits
- The varicose often seeks attention; it is clearly Vain
- Back in the days, racists used white females for blackmail
He is alcoholic...because his wife makes the best whines
Stop complaining; the world's sphere enough
Many people experience loss once; and never try a-gain
Maybe we need Catholic leaders...who can at least hear the Masses
Its quite a poor-trait for the artist not to draw a decent wage
Most rulers are not straight; and fail to draw the line against evil
I read; now i have conjunctivitis
The papers say an Antiques Store was just robbed. But its still old News
Its no coincidence that Half-baked education produces ill-bred loafers
- I overwork my mental field and don't expect my-graine? (Caleb Utsu)
- Our poor secretary is morally Weak. Now he is in jail doing Time for faking the Minutes
Seven days without love make one weak (Emeka Okeke)
Welfare for maniacs is a Fundamental subject (Uzochukwu Odonwodo)
A candle in the wind would last long if the wick is strong (Emelie Morris Anekwu)
You are finished as a player if by age 20 you still don't score...
If Witches were horses; they would be night-Mares
Grammar should have taught us that continuous worry over the future makes the present, tense.
Law of proper positioning: Don't back down from whats up front...just be quick to Decide!
Since birth has Death be-gun; so Life is shot...
Poetry is adverse to Prose
When people want to take a piss on you; they say "na we-we"
Money is the root. no wonder broke people are ruthless.
Christmas- the only time Liverpool have Carroll's playing (Ebele Malcom Okolo)
In life as in sentences, a coma always precedes the full & final stop
Champagne for my real friends; and real pain for my sham friends (Chukwukaelo Chika)
Irony is - we are barely abreast of happenings in the Milky way/Most
Marriages take place in a Single day/Expecting positive answers, we still close our 'ayes' when we pray/Cassius floored his opponents, bouncing- yet those were feet of Clay!
On life's ladder, rung steps are often inevitable
At birth you begin a life sentence. At death, you get a parole (Ken Uzim)
Rule of Law: a Dicey affair
Bosses are like skin irritations; they always itch to make rash decisions
She says I'm too leisurely about marriage. I ask, is a Hubby not all about leisure?
My new pa's not just cruel. He's a step farther
Half baked education: ill bred loafers.
Once again, it is thyme to curry favour with seasons greetings.
'Sixty seconds': enough to say all you've got to say if you really 'mean it' (Caleb Utsu)
Horticulture: the practice of proud people (Uzochukwu Odonwodo)
Man proposes; God provides the bride-price (Gomiluk Otokwala)
Why did the little biscuit cry? coz his mum and dad have been a wafer too long (Ken Uzim)
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. (Ken Uzim)
In the north, you could "loose a limb" for such an 'offhand' comment on Islam (Caleb Utsu)
An author builds his house brick by brick, making use of writer's block (Eketi Aime Ette)
- Those who live with a Motto have the most drive
-Faith without work makes you and Idle woshipper
- Watch it teachers: your pupil dots his "i"s as he lens how to con ya
- Indecision is ugly. Tis a prettier mental state after the mind is made up
- Getting fired is like walking a closed street. Little wonder its CALLED THE SACK.
- "Life Sucks" said the pair of shoes. "U cant avoid defeat" said the pair of socks. "You keep slipping into cracks" the Thong moaned. "and its hard to stay abreast" The Bra agreed. "Problems keep sticking out" piped the Boxers shorts. "It brings me close to tears" said the Contact Lens. "One minute you are lifted, the next, you drop to the floor" yelled the Skirt. "Most times, I'm worn out" The Condom sniffed. "But its still a fair world". The Bleaching Cream smiled.
- The president is the cook, the economy loses spice; and we live on borrowed thyme.
- Lust is bed-ridden love
- The Public Sector is like Part 2 of the movie Living in Bondage: No Merit
- I am not really a Priest; what you see is my altar-ego
- I have left the author's block; and moved a little more to the write
- Live in a glass house and face the risk of a broken home
- MAN: Lady, if I wanted to rub you the runway, I will say you are so plain, you can only attract a pilot
- He prefers love outdoors with his Lass/so daily he falls from Grace to grass
- In a golden maze as i cross the rubicorn
- She asked "How much are you ready to stake-for-my-heart? And I replied: You'll be better off dating Van Helsing
- The race is for the turf. The weak take flight
- Those two great Williamses tried to teach us a Words worth: It breaks dynasties and Shakes peers
- Relationship Watch: I grow weak and in a daze every time you say "our"/do you really mean-it, or u simply want me every second under your power?
- Every girl's life starts with "Doll" moments. So they need all the drama that their adult lives bring
- Your dead dad said that you were a spoke in his wheels/So I guess you can guess what he spoke in his Wills
- How to ride a Boss: 1. Don't lose at the staring. 2. Press firmly on your Breaks. 3. Never neutralize your Drive. 4. Watch your back...for the boot. 5. Do not give a hoot; even if he has horns. 6. Exhaust all smoky areas. 7. Always activate the Alternator
- Igbo boy raised on three-pence: A thorough bred
- Your smile is the bomb; you must be using a grin-aid
- Many are Left to die; despite their Right to life
- Our Rulers always open their mouths; yet no straight talks
- If you train your child well; he will not derail
- Don't worry about the money; work for the name/even money cant resist the allure of fame
- Naturally, lousy folks are given the hair-dryer treatment
- PHCN should not be treated lightly
- Words often fail me when I want to pass a sentence on you
- No matter how new a Clock is; it still needs a second-hand to stay active
- To ensure the triumph of write over rung; every journalist should avoid the lures of the social ladder
- The cost of living is high; what is the Naira smoking?
- New Year lesson from Cameras and their megapixels: Focusing on the big picture is the best resolution