HOUSE RULES: Diplomacy should only be employed for issues
that respect themselves. Stubborn issues should be flogged; hard!
(Please send in your articles to theunstarchedcollar@gmail.com. Maximum of 1000 words please)
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Tuesday, September 18 , 2012
Law beyond the School Walls
(musings of a Nigerian Law Student)
Monday, July 30, 2012
The Super-Brilliant Advocate
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(Please send in your articles to theunstarchedcollar@gmail.com. Maximum of 1000 words please)
Monday, January 14, 2013
In Pursuit of the Legal Dream...
In Pursuit of the Legal Dream...
contributed by Mbah Emeka Bond
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| Credit: Google Images |
In my line of work I spend a lot of time talking to lawyers, not just my
fellow young wigs but also those at the senior end. I garner from these
interactions that the profession is largely perceived to be nearing a saturation
point; as the Nigerian Law School keeps churning out virgin wigs in their tens
of thousands.
Also the chief concerns at the outermost Bar appear to be the future of
a profession where many a frantic Associate, sick of being an apprentice-for-peanuts,
prematurely flies solo. The competition swells. But does quality? Moreso, as the
shadows of recession hangs over the legal market. It becomes farcical to
observe the combat for fallen crumbs of the dwindling legal cake. The lawyer’s
dignity wears out in the face of a jungle-like food chain.
Oh sure, that legal practitioners are fast losing their prestige is
stale news. The legal dream has become a herculean task coupled with the fact
that the market is very competitive and clients now believe the profession is
indeed over-rated. (Wetin Lawyers dey do sef?). As a result, we
now have the half-formed paralegal preying on our spare spoils. But the dogged
spirit of the average learned brother who doesn’t know what it means to retreat
or understand what it takes to surrender perseveres. He recognizes that the
very reason why victories are worn is because battles are fought.
On one hand, juniors want
early access to clients and resent the boss who rules otherwise. However, the
idea of actually going out to the streets to win those clients for the Firm
becomes daunting. Aspiration towards partner-status is strongly connected with
the belief that the role comes with rain-making prowess. A considerable number
of aspiring lawyers know that the higher you get, the harder it becomes to
break out. Moreso, when you have risen to the role of Senior Associate and
still find yourself ill-equipped to independently hunt what you eat. Notwithstanding; what must be done must be done and is better done now than later.
Viewed from the outside; our peers in other professions seem to be
advancing in speedier steps in rank and file. This makes the young wig to
wallow in despair wondering if at all there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Well, this piece is neither aimed at convincing you there is light at the end
of the weary tunnel (I haven’t been to the end of the tunnel myself) nor to
encourage you to be your own boss and principal partner.
However what I have found out in my short stay within the Law’s hallowed
walls is that excellence is always rewarded and no one discriminates
against excellence, successfully. It is both a universal donor and recipient
and thus, in high demand. Make a name, become a brand in a specialist area
because in this profession only those who have made a name are entitled to
wealth and fame. An author once said, one
machine can do the work of a hundred ordinary people but no machine can do the
work of one extra-ordinary person. Savour the experiences now and develop
your capacity for you never can tell what the future holds. “Time and Chance
happens to them all” chimes the
Holy Writ.
And therein lies my question: when your time and chance come in the form
of an opportunity, will you be able to deliver and maximise the moment? Only
those who have borne the yoke in the place of preparation can take advantage of
opportunity when it comes knocking. If you are not feeling it, if you are not
resonating with the current path, if it’s not challenging or bringing out the
best in you, why die a conformist? Challenge the status quo. It is time to
revisit the plan. Remember, an arrow has to go backward to go forward. Smart
work aptitude cannot be found in our thick volumes. They are self-built.
Stay sure and stand strong in
your pursuit of the legal dream. See you at the top.
Bond is a Legal
practitioner, capacity development consultant, writer and poet. He is MD/CEO of Bondlinks PSL.
www.poeticpowers.blogspot.com
www.poeticpowers.blogspot.com
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Friday, December 7, 2012
Dear Dot-com: Please log Lawyers on...
(An early Christmas request of a Baby Lawyer who has finally discovered a short-route past Math!)
Dear Dot-com: Please log Lawyers on...
(An early Christmas request of a Baby Lawyer who has finally discovered a short-route past Math!)
Guest written by Martin Ogbodo
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| Credit: Google Images |
At the dawn of the Y2Ks, mankind, again,
found this world, infinite as it first seemed. Only this time, reducible to the
decimal points of handheld devices powered by lithium cells and solar energy;
potentially poised to yield us glories equivalent to Christopher Columbus’ and the
Lander Brothers’.
Voila! It was absolute connectivity of
all peoples, remote and civilized. Technology
magically flung us from vista, to vista. We worshipped the dotcom –the infinite
glory of the World Wide Web. And like morning on that creation day, it seemed
that we became gods chanting the “Let-there-be-s”…and there was, Google, there
was, eBay …there was, Amazon, AND oh dear! THERE WAS FACEBOOK, SKYPE Even TWITTER!!!
For far less efforts than Graham Bell ever
dreamt of, the procreation of data led us to the very brink of total conquest
of nature. Down Silicon Valley, it was one App
after another, after yet another, till we fell into an unchecked array of
robots who virtually swore to love us
better than our spouses. And they actually did!
Even in our churches, theological
arguments on the propriety of materialism started to shift to weekday services
and cell fellowships, until they ended up on blogs and other free-thinking communities where the
priests, under the anonymities of User-ID voiced their sensual cravings for
jets and floated live streams for the millions of faithfuls who could follow and
make their offerings via a conveniently installed POS. In a recent nightmare: I
was in church, and there was an altar-call for those who got the iPad mini
within the first month of its release. I woke up panting, and to douse my
racing pulse, reached for my bedside tablet: you guessed right; the Galaxy tab.
I think I heard Steve Jobs’ soft
laughter “Had we not also mentioned the
evolution of the iChurch; just before God called me to the clouds?”
I still recall my first ever PC. A
rarity then; and it still is now…fit for the museums. And this is how I feel
when I view the growth of technology in comparison to lawyers. I see the Lawyer’s confusion as the unlearned folks are the ones that now
know IT all. He builds his Firm and fills it with typewriters, and reserves a
sole position for the magnified grandeur of a specialist computer operator. The said operator could type out a document
(quite fast, I must admit), but is helplessly unable to locate a saved document
or save a completed work. But in fairness, they dusty PCs help the Firm galvanize
its credible invoices. A necessity triggered by the ridicule of having senior
lawyers scurry to a Business Cafe across the road to get a process or a
one-page letter typed (Oh, our letters are NEVER one-paged actually).
Hence, clearly, whilst we were
passively occupied with word processing, our counterparts in Silicon Valley and
Santa Clara were franking Deeds of Assignment IRO billion-dollar worth
intellectual properties and hosting their practice data bases on the world wide
web where anyone anywhere could get real time specialist Legal and company
secretarial resource.
Yeah, for many and many really, who
were almost always open to innovation, the development of office machines which
made processes not only more robust, but self-sufficing, things moved quite
fast. I recall delightful conversations with many of my friends back then as we
gushed fantasies of the Law firms in Lagos and Abuja that were rapidly gaining
the sophistication of Banks and other 21st century work-stations.
Then, along came Facebook: The
beginning of the end, or what two of my hilarious seniors once loosely referred
to as foreplay for the bottom-line of IT.
Facebook was not the first social media, no it wasn’t. And if you have seen the
movie “The Social Media” (plus a dozen other articles on the subject), you could
be swayed by the argument that it was a stolen idea. But that argument is
irrelevant in the face of the miracles it works for all mankind. Whether Facebook
was of the devil and came straight from hell, the conversation literally became
derelict of source: for Facebook has become the
way, the truth, our lives!
So, was it then trite that IP had to
progressively stay away from the meeting rooms of innovation, at a time when
names like Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckeberg, Larry Page, Jack Dorsey, Jeff Beezos
etc., started to appear in the skies? Well, my concern did not initially relate
to the remote contentions of a profession: I just worried that that the world, this world, is outgrowing the whims of
an individual and this is far too simple to ignore.
The human community is becoming so
finely intertwined into a web of minds and resources (innately intellectual, of
course), and a million options to every complex need. For IP disciples, this is
veritable cause for worry. Very recently, an American presidential candidate
summed up the thriving prosperity of a nation into a “currency manipulation”! And
his vehement displeasure for the innovativeness of China would, surely, remain
indelible, in our minds, although our experience remains different down here. I
don’t know all the figures but, but perhaps, even Apple’s total shipment would
be far less, but for China.
In Nigeria, we are still familiarizing
with The Trademarks Registry, NOTAP, NAFDAC, CAC, SEC etc. which by global
standards are at best typical Nigerian Public offices where revenue receipts
are issued. I hear musings on a daily basis around Technology reforms across NCC,
Ministry of Information Technology which you can be almost sure, would only end
up frustrating the enjoyment of our huge appetite for tech luxury especially
the mobile. I hope I am proven wrong though.
Nigeria still accounts for a
significant portion of the world’s shipments of luxury mobile devices. Sadly,
we rate their importance largely on aesthetics and cost (Yes, we prefer them
expensive); while reckoning with progressive patterns for familiar models: Bold
5, 6 or 7, or 8 Torch 9 or 12 (lest I annoy my dear audience, I will refrain from any
mention of the forbidden word: Porsche). Our prayer point is simply that God
should never let his word be made manifest by merchants who ask for no more
than our money.
Personally, I really look forward to a
world where we can put an end to these claims to ownership of Wi-Fi systems,
servers and other interconnectivity platforms. At the risk of persecution, I
look forward to the failure of all privacy policies. I really think that it
would be a contradiction to share information (photos, updates, or video
files), then turn around and sue an Apps developer for allowing it reach an
unintended consumer. Anyway, there are statistics to show less indiscriminate sharing
of private information as opposed to earlier times when people to give progressive updates of their
whereabouts from dawn to dusk, complete with pictures and phone numbers!
The
inventions of the cloud technology all affirm a future poised on this. I really
think that we underlie a remoteness covered by the same blue sky touching the
ground at the same point. And trust me; these boundaries will fail, at least
commercially. (Ask anyone who closely followed the Facebook IPO drama –the
paradox that chronicled it all).
Hence my dear Bar brethren, we must
rise to the occasion of the times to embrace technology, not just the social multi-media;
and align our thoughts to the words of the celebrated retail giant Jeff Beezos,
that “this is day 1 for the internet…we still have so much to learn”. We must open our minds to learn more:
a lot more in terms of our outlook on the profession at a time when the law of
tenancy is dramatically extending to virtual tenants and several intangible
landlords. Mind, the laws have not changed and technology is not trying to
change it.
The demand of 21st century competitiveness lends itself to no form
complacency: to remain in the system, you must integrate with the operating
system, and this is no less, a worthy venture for all enterprise.
Preparatory to the merry-making of
Yuletide, I urge us all to join in this earnest plea to the Dotcom, to log us
on, before it bursts, yet again.
Unless, you vehemently, disagree, let
us take this as an affirmation of our readiness, to accept its emancipating
Sync request: to debunk the view that the only way to love a lawyer, is to
shove him in the direction of a court.
Thank you.
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Tuesday, September 18 , 2012
Law beyond the School Walls
(musings of a Nigerian Law Student)
Guest written by Ebube Agboanike
No other professional is as vilified and at the
same time as glorified as the lawyer. The consummate
professional, he is looked upon with awe bordering upon veneration by his fellows who buy the well-worn fiction
that the LL.B alone triggers a superlative intellect. He is deemed learned; a cut above any
other. Even university professors of several
years and numerous publications pale in comparison.
Indeed, no man is truly learned,
as long as he has never stepped into
a law class, survived the awkwardness of baleful Dinners and quoted
Latin before a judge. Such a man is only educated; a mere
mortal in the presence of this
divine priest of the temple of justice. Priests (preferably of the Roman Catholic order) he looks upon
as an equal while grudgingly permitting
the doctor to be called “expert”, but only for purposes of corroborating his
evidence in court. This deification is not
limited to only those who have
received as a mark of their priesthood the wig and gown but is extended also to the wide-eyed postulants.
Many a time have people formed a favourable opinion of me at first meeting upon learning that “I’m a
Law student at the University of Nigeria”. You
can see the respect meter
on their face go up as if connected to a power source. People my father’s age who were formerly content with
either nodding their head or
mumbling a reply to my greetings now answer it with shouts of “my Lord”, “The Bar”, Young Barrister” and
such other
However as
graduation draws near, it becomes
clear that the pomp and ceremony of the profession will not be enough to pay the bills. With the Call To Bar
ceremony now being held twice a
year and the faculties of Law all over the country pouring out graduates in their tens of thousands, the
competition a new wig has to deal
with is enough to make the 100 meters final at the Olympics look like an after-dinner game of cards at an
English gentleman’s club.
The sight of lawyers trudging in their well-worn shoes and over-ironed ‘coats’ serves as a constant warning
that the legal profession does not pay enough to
new entrants to maintain the status expected of one. And there is
the paradox of a profession which
has at one extreme the highest paid professionals in Nigeria complete with private jets and high rise office
buildings and at the other end of
the spectrum, the lowest paid professionals in the country fighting alongside mere mortals for public
transport quite unsuited to the
nobility of the profession. And then there is the ethics of the professional which forbids lawyers from
engaging in otherwise profitable
ventures like trading which is considered beneath the dignity of the profession.
Put all these
together and a Law student should
seriously reconsider the wisdom in his choice of Career, and smartly think up ways to preserve the dignity of the
profession while still living the
life we see on the pages of the Sunday pull-outs. And nobody taught
us this in Class.
Now, the most natural course would be
litigation. The aspect of law practise with which the
uninitiated are most familiar thanks largely to American court-room drama on TV (the lawyer making
the court hang on his every word,
jumping to his feet to object in a voice more suited to a drill sergeant on a parade ground and leaving everyone
quite impressed with his skill and
expertise). That is the glamorous part. What you don’t see are the hours of laborious painstaking (and
often frustrating) research that go into
those few minutes of performance.
Just as you don’t know how tough movie
production is until you see the behind-the-scenes shoots and begin to
wonder if the actors derived any fun from the whole ordeal.
Moreover my participation in mooting has turned me off
litigation. It is a week of feverish activity complete with missed
lectures for three hours of examination-in-chief, cross-examination and address while you wait for a verbose student judge who may not like the
cut of your suit to decide if you
progress to the next stage or not. Add to that the fact that while the Olanipekuns of this world can charge in
excess of N50 million for a court appearance, the majority of litigators are ambulance chasers who can hardly
afford to pay for a decent cab to
get them to court.
But there is an upside to litigation. If you
stick to it long enough and earn a godfather who is skilled at all the requisite political manoeuvrings;
you may get to become a Senior Advocate of Nigeria complete with all the perks and privileges, the most important of
which is the right to charge outrageous fees and look down on members
of the outer Bar as poor
relations. If I do decide to embark on a career in litigation, the clincher would be the fact that a year after I’m
called to the Bar, the 2015
elections will be held and if the PDP stays true to form, we can expect an avalanche of election
petitions. Now if I’m able to land
one of them –even if it’s a mere local government Councillor galled at haven been out-rigged by his opponent, my
path would be clear to a lifetime
of fat fees dependent on the inability of people to resolve their differences amicably.
Now, another aspect of litigation which strikes
me as a
virgin area is divorce proceedings. As one of my
colleagues pointed out not too
long ago, at the rate which divorce is becoming fashionable in our country it will not be too long
before it becomes commonplace to
hold divorce parties and to inquire of people “Are you divorced yet?” Now while some of you will decry this
appalling trend, lawyers wouldn’t
be lawyers if we were not trained to see
Now, my potential
clientele would be the ever-increasing
sorority of ‘runs girls’ which our universities are turning out faster than Apple churns out iPhones. No
sooner do they get their hooks
into an unsuspecting Alhaji than we will proceed to court claiming incompatibility and demanding the moon in
alimonies. As Bond so succinctly puts it, “The world is not enough”.
Maybe, I am in the perfect profession after all.
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Monday, July 30, 2012
The Super-Brilliant Advocate
Guest written by Uchenna Njoku
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| Credits: Google Images |
His
limbs were numb and his eyes swam in the delirious wave of multi-coloured images
crowding his fevered brain: It was a crowded court. The awe of advocacy was visible
from the reverent murmurs of the audience and the lawyers wore their best wits.
The clock chimed the ninth hour and the day’s armory was summoned. The narrow
Chambers was instantly abuzz with weighty evidence of learned folk. Papers
shuffled as the clerk rallied them to duty. The young Advocate looked unruffled
despite news that just filtered in from his whistle-blowing partner: All the big
wigs in the enemy’s camp were in town, all six of them! Today’s fight was going
to be long drawn. The seven egg-heads peered glumly through uniformly thick
lenses, perched mightily on the presiding rostrum.
Somewhere
outside the big theatre, another drama brewed. The only big wig which the young
Advocate’s camp could afford, stomped and yelled. A delayed Arik flight from Lagos had just
disqualified him from the big moment. And second-choice Aero was long gone.
The
case must be heard nonetheless. The 7 Lord Justices had clearly warned at the
last date: no further delays; and
like penitent felons before the long beards of Angel Gabriel, the advocates had
nodded their assent. The clerks hurriedly scribbled those barely legible words
of war known to seasoned advocate: “for definite adoption of briefs”.
Cardiac
arrest loomed; the young Advocate must appear alone at the highest Court against a formidable sextet of law
veterans. The battle gong has sounded and the young warrior must arise to duty,
no matter how ill-adorned his armament was. Within the quarter-hour separating nightmare
from certainty, the young Advocate moved fast. A taxi-cab was flagged down and the heavy
files thrown hastily into the backseat. Pilgrims’ progress! He stepped down
minutes later in a near-black jacket; the best from a scanty wardrobe, creased
beyond salvage by virtue of long term interface with B-29 and OMO water. The accompanying brown shoes maintained a
steady glare to the heavens, perennially defiant to the irony of its sad
sojourn into a profession of polished
gentlemen.
The
Courtroom opened and the young Advocate crouched behind the first row where the
Goliaths sat in dignified splendour.
A
loud bang and the clerk’s horsy whine: “Court!” Everyone stood. Another
tragedy: the young Advocate’s wig was
missing and as customary with the lawful-oppression called bar-seniority, an
unwilling elder grudgingly offered
his, after a sufficient dose of tirades against this new crop of shoddy lawyers.
The
borrowed wig spoke loudly of its origin as it dangled on the young Advocate’s head.
The case was called. It bordered on a huge constitutional question that could
redefine Nigerian federalism.
The
Plaintiffs’ Lead Counsel (a Silky big-wig) took all of ten minutes to announce
his team, all of them, routine headliners. The Defendant’s list was a litany of
legal neophytes, mostly Corps Members; an untrained militia without riffles, marching
doggedly to the slaughter slab. The Presiding Justices’ made a perfunctory query
as to the sole big-wig’s whereabouts and the stage was set.
The
Silky ones commenced their arguments. Led by a boring professor and master of
abstraction! Even a member of his team appeared to snore. It was like a pig’s
guffaw, and the audience tittered at the sound. ‘Order’ roared the clerk
and quietude returned. The Prof. rambled for another 48 minutes and assumed his
seat.
The
young Advocate sprang up, doing an involuntary Azonto in a flurry of dancing fingers and wobbly legs. His
voice eventually found crescendo and the court listened. A few minutes into the
argument, he made a swift switch to dramatic legalism: “My Lords, while this Honourable Court has the powers to expound its
jurisdiction, it lacks the powers to expand same. The Plaintiffs’ invitation to
the Court is for the latter and My Lords must refuse the allure. Constitutional
interpretation does not include constitutional amendment. The interpretative
role of the judiciary is cast in sedimentary iron and no amount of judicial
activism will form the wicket for altering the clear and unequivocal language
of the Constitution. The frontiers of the law must be advanced, howbeit in
accordance with law….”
The
atmosphere became charged. Many eyes popped, and more heads nodded. The 7 wise
ones furiously scribbled, and conferred animatedly. Our nascent Advocate was
the master of the day. He swayed the court back and forth and summed his
treatise at the clock of an hour. A hero was born!
The
Silk’s reply on points of law was worse than the main address. All of a sudden,
the audience could sense the signs of old age and near-senility. The Court rose
for an hour. Senior lawyers crowded the young Advocate and gushed encomiums.
The handshakes of praises kept pouring, and his flared ears lavishly took it all in like Hulk
Hogan of the Wrestlemania. An hour
later, the seven wise men returned with the verdict. The young Advocate had won
on all fronts in a masterful show of super-brilliance.
As
the court rose, the Press thronged and there was a word for everyone. Even the
Justices sent their Personal Assistants to congratulate the Advocate, and he very
nearly autographed their neck-ties. His vision of a lucrative law practice had taken
shape and he had worn the heart of all. Waving
triumphantly, he stepped forward to climb down the stairs, but stumbled, and his
left leg hit a wall, badly. The crushing impact awakened him…
He
stared wildly into the familiar face – the Campus Doctor stared back with a gentle look:
“You were rushed to the law school clinic
about 4 hours ago. You slumped while reading for the Bar exams.”
THE END
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Thursday, May 24, 2012
Attachments & Weaves (the hurdles that lie before the Bar)
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Attachments & Weaves (the hurdles that lie before the Bar)
Guest written by Eketi Amani Ette
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| Credit: Google Images |
Now, for three months, every student of
the law school is supposed to put to practice all the theories that have been
stuffed into his willing (?) brains for five months. This period of hands-on training
is known as attachment and is undertaken both in courts and
law offices around the country.
So, this lawyer-hopeful packs up and
reports at a court for the first part of the programme. She arrives, eager to
leave a mark. Alas, the only mark she leaves is that of her butt, on the wooden
chairs where she meekly sits and observes the obsequious bows to the judge, the
humourless banter of many a not so learned wig; and if she is in luck, there
could be a few smart insults couched in wicked adjectives from the bench. And
when judgements are delivered; counsel may not like it, but must fight down the
urge to say a few choice words to the judge, and instead, respectfully intones,
“As the court pleases” while giving his opponent the evil eye.
The hapless students, who from hereon we
shall refer to as attachés, soon find that they choke to near death from
absolute boredom, especially if they are stuck like yours truly, in Courts that
entertain only civil commercial cases. To survive in the tedium-coated temple,
the attachés invent diversionary pastime. Oh yes! Blackberries! The
slogan here is POD: Ping or die! Also, whispered critiques of each lawyer’s
performance. Entertainment surely does not lack here; it’s a profession where
ludicrous mannerisms are rife. Occasionally, the attaches get
careless and erupt in outright giggles. A liberal judge may smile and indulge
them. Not so with a stern arbiter, glowering down the ridge of his nose; a
grave warning is issued to respect the sanctity of the court.
At some rare periods however, the attachés
are lucky and an interesting case comes before the court. A litigant sometimes
emerges, grown weary of hiring the services of these pocket-draining clowns, and decides to represent himself. Here, real drama unfolds. Blissfully ignorant of
the fine details of filing processes and serving them, this upstanding defendant
adjudges the courtroom an extension of the village square where elders preside
as judges. (Our culture of a grey wig does not help to dispel this notion).
After several painful minutes of trying to ascertain that this defendant
understands the gravity of the task he is about to take on, the court permits
the prosecution to go ahead with the cross examination. Our laughter can be
heard from miles yonder as he constantly interrupts his cross and yells at the
prosecution, calling them liars who would not let him speak the truth; while
peppering his speech with injunctions like “The God I serve will vindicate me!”
By this time we have all choked, eyes shedding bucketfuls as we fall over
ourselves writhing in helpless merriment. The judge tries unsuccessfully
to keep the gentleman in line, but buoyed by our cheers, the dude sails merrily
on his voyage of discovery.
As a student on attachment, I hereby posit
that the name of this learning period be changed from attachments to weaves.
During weaves, the job of lawyers would be made easier by allowing litigants to
represent themselves, or be represented by the attachés- under their
principal’s supervision. Counsel would only do the research, file and serve
court processes, while the parties themselves are left to handle the courtroom
work. As they slug it out, counsel would sit around jaw-jawing about the
different recent amendments in statutes, yearly vacations and their mean bosses
while occasionally throwing in a helpful pointer to their erring litigant. The judge
would have a recorder on instead of the agonising process of taking notes in
longhand. Maybe these will un-crease his brows and make him smile
after all. More so, without the formality of the court and frequent
interference of counsel, parties would arrive at settlement quicker.
If attachés are the representation, things
will not be much different. They would announce their presence in court like
other wigs, their voices squeaky at the realization that this is not a moot
court. The case for which the attaché and his principal appear would then be
called. Maybe, a chronically absent defendant and his counsel have put the
court in a bad mood and the judge is ready to hand the plaintiff favourable
judgment on a platter. The principal gives the attaché a little nudge to
indicate that he is the one to move the motion. Honoured at this opportunity
and confident that he can move a simple motion, our attaché
gets up and glances at the principal who gives him a nod of encouragement. He
then boldly looks the judge in the eye and says, “My Lord, I move!” The puzzled
judge, wondering if he has heard correctly, looks at the attaché and asks what
he seeks to move. Ignoring the frantic nudges of his principal and the
snickering of his colleagues, attaché raises his voice higher and clearly
enunciates his words, “My Lord, I move!”
On law office attachment, there is more
stimulation. The attaché gets to draft, write and run errands in the office. If
one is lucky, he is posted to an office where one can study for the bar finals
while learning the mundane tricks of law practice. The accursed ones are those
who get stuck in offices of slave drivers. These bosses can’t believe their
luck: Cheap labour! And the attaché is put to work round the clock, mastering
the skills of the profession, only to fail the entrance exam (not our portion,
surely). I am especially amused by those zealots who were assigned
to easygoing offices but got themselves reassigned to busy chambers
where they also hope to get paid. They forget that no one gets paid by a lawyer
for doing nothing (I leave you to figure out the irony in that).
Alas, attachment soon blows over and
everyone heads back to the various campuses; equally scared and ill-prepared to
take the bull by its horns.
****************************************************************
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2011
Nigeria’s New Pot of Gold
(The Employees’ Compensation Scheme)
Guest written by Odu Enyi
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| Google Images |
One of the more tragic consequences of the serial policy failure
in Nigeria is the reflexive cynicism with which we greet ordinarily good ideas
coming from government. The Employee’s Compensation Act (the “ECA”
or the “Act”) signed into law by President Goodluck Jonathan on 17
December 2010 is one of them.
First, I must acknowledge the very wonderful ideal behind the
Act. It was enacted to guarantee the payment of compensation to
employees (in both the public and private sectors) who suffer from occupational
diseases or sustain injuries arising from accident at the workplace or in the
course of their employment. The Act repeals the Workmen’s
Compensation Act which was an older law on the same subject but with a narrower
scope of application.
The Act has some innovative provisions; including:
- mandatory contributions to be made by
employers into a fund pool (the “Fund”);
- specific regulatory authority to administer
the Act and manage the Fund for the compensation of employees, dependents or
survivors;
- criminalisation of non-compliance.
A few of the listed events for which an employee is entitled to
compensation are quite remarkable:
a. Mental Stress: This is made to include
instances where the employer changes the
work or working conditions of the employee in such a way as to unfairly exceed the employee’s work ability
or capacity. (So the next time a principal insists on a road trip
for a junior lawyer for an out-of-town court sitting, the junior lawyer may
well begin to contemplate his compensation under this head);
b. Enemy Warlike Action: This should have
been ideal for all the workers in the bomb-infested parts of Nigeria, except
that compensation for this arm only applies to government workers.
Now, I have duly paid tribute to the good intentions of the makers
of the Act, I may now turn my attention to the part that really worries me. The
Act creates a special pool called the Employees’ Compensation Fund (the “Fund”)
which is primarily the source of all compensation payable under the Act to
employees.
The Fund shall consist of the following sources:
The Fund shall consist of the following sources:
- A
take-off grant from the Federal Government
- Contributions payable by employers into the Fund;
- Fees and assessments charged on employers by the NSITF Board;
- Proceeds of investment of the Fund; and
- Gifts and grants from any local or foreign organisation.
- Contributions payable by employers into the Fund;
- Fees and assessments charged on employers by the NSITF Board;
- Proceeds of investment of the Fund; and
- Gifts and grants from any local or foreign organisation.
The most interesting source of the Fund is the contribution from
all employers in Nigeria. As a first step, employers are to contribute 1% of their payroll
monthly to the Fund. In addition to this, the, employers shall be
assessed for even higher rates of contribution annually depending on the nature
of the industry they operate in and the risk factors associated with it. And
then, there’s my favourite called a “super-assessment’ where an
employer can have more than one assessment in one year if the claims coming
from its employees exceed the amount of its contributions. There is
no corresponding provision for refund if, for instance, the contributions
exceed the claims, or there are no claims at all.
I did a quick math on the above:
-
Scenario 1: If there are
1000 employers in Nigeria with a monthly payroll of N500,000, then the Fund
will receive a monthly contribution of N5,000,000;
-
Scenario 2: If
there are 1000 employers in Nigeria with a monthly payroll of N1,000,000, then
the Fund will receive a monthly contribution of N10,000,000;
-
Scenario 3: If there are 10,000
employers in Nigeria with a monthly payroll of N1,000,000, then the Fund will
receive a monthly contribution of N100,000,000
-
Scenario 4: If there are
100,000 employers in Nigeria with a monthly payroll of N1,000,000, then the
Fund will receive a monthly contribution of N1,000,000,000
If you consider that the Act applies to all employers both in the
public and private sector and that the Federal Government and various State
Governments have a monthly wage bill running into hundreds of millions of
naira, then you will realize that the above scenarios are very
conservative.
Factoring in governments, companies (especially those in the
communications, oil & gas and financial services sector), professional
firms, etc It is easy to see that the expected monthly inflow to the Fund from
contributions of employers alone will hit the billion naira mark in no time.
Consider further that the 1% percent of payroll contribution is
only temporary until the regulatory body fixes higher rates applicable to
different classes of employers and you will get a better than geometric
progression on the monthly inflows into the Fund. Again, these are
just contribution and assessments alone and do not include FG and other grants
and proceeds from investments of the Fund.
None of the above would have given me cause to worry expect that I
studied the ends to which the fund is to be used and came up with the following.
(Emphases on the items tucked away towards the end of the list are mine):
a. payment
of adequate compensation for employees
b. provision
of rehabilitation for disabled employees
c. payment
of remuneration and allowances of members of staff of the Board
d. supporting
activities and programmes on the prevention of occupational accidents and hazards
e. purchase
of any equipment or material required for carrying out the functions of the
Board
f. carrying
out any activity or doing anything with respect to any of the functions of the
Board.
I would rather that the expenditures on the Fund stopped at (a)
and (b) above. Or a system is designed where every ‘non-compensation’
related expenditure is from other sources except the Fund.
As presently structured, the Fund is helplessly susceptible to
squander. I have yet to see any government agency efficiently manage fund that accrues to it. There is talk in the Act of an
Investment Committee to advice on investment of the Fund. There are also some
half-hearted provisions on oversight from the National Assembly
The leprechaun that sits over this pot is the Nigerian Social
Insurance Trust Fund (“NSITF”) Management Board (the “Board”) authorised to
manage the Fund. The NSITF was originally created by the NSITF Act
of 1993 as the custodian of pension contributions. The Pension Reform Act
(the “PRA”) of 2004 thereafter practically wound up the pension fund business
of the NSITF by providing that the pension fund assets of the NSITF shall be
transferred to a company to be established by the NSITF and licensed by the
National Pension Commission (“PenCom”) as a pension fund administrator.
It is not certain what factors led to the choice of the Board as
the regulatory authority in respect of the ECA. However, it may be
that the capacity ostensibly acquired by the NSITF for fund management may have
made it suitable for this function.
If past experiences are anything to go by, the NSITF Board will
become the target of intense lobbies for appointment, contracts and all forms
of patronage. And somewhere in the midst of all that; the objectives of the compensation scheme will
be irreversibly lost.
I desperately hope I am wrong.
.....................................................................................................................
Friday, November 18, 2011
LESSONS FROM A TRAFFIC JAM
LESSONS FROM A TRAFFIC JAM
Guest written by Emma Eze
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| Google Images |
There I sat, sandwiched between two portly passengers,
gasping for fresh air. A worn bag (from where my wig and gown clearly peeked
through) sat on my laps. The bus was cramped; no AC. The windows shifted grudgingly,
and then just enough to admit and trap the lethal heat of a ferocious sun. A
truck loaded with cement has just fallen over a pothole. The road marshals have
refused to show up. We are trapped in a terrible traffic jam. My sweat mingled
freely with those of other passengers in a malodorous cocktail. To defuse the
tension, people chatted and yelled, cursed and raved. Others stared glumly into
space, seeking distraction in some faraway daydream.
Still others chose more engaging diversionary
tactics.
The man by my left has just finished peddling
his medicine to other passengers. (Pitilessly buffeting my temple in his
demonstrations). He claims the concoction can cure more than twelve diseases
ranging from headache to stomach cramps.
The stout and fierce looking man at the back
was pouring his venom on a local politician smiling broadly from a nearby billboard
by the side of the road. “Why won’t he smile?” he barked. “After using us to get to the Senate he now
steals and chop our money alone, thief-thief” the rest concurred. I vowed
not to get lured into the discussion. (But really, for how long can a lawyer
hold his peace?). They went on and on listing the problems of the nation.
Eventually, a rather funny man somewhere by my right poked me on the shoulder
and snarled, “They are the problem;
Lawyers are our real problem”. He pointed out my paraphernalia to push home
his point. Due to the anti-elitist sentiment now prevalent in the bus, I was sure
I would be lynched shortly. And how unfairly, because the last time I checked,
I was still part of the streets. “No,
Lawyers are not your problem” I retorted, shaking off my racing pulse.
My response evidently delighted them, and the
bus erupted in smart remarks against the profession. The man’s voice rose above
the din. “Of course, I do not expect to
win an argument with a Lawyer my friend, but everybody knows that your advice
is what is killing this country”. He continued: An average Lawyer’s advice is like the one issued in the following
tale: A man hired three Labourers to plant trees for him on his farm. To avoid
quarrels, he shared the work amongst them as follows: the first Labourer was to
dig the hole; the second would implant the nursery while the third would close
the hole. Each was allotted 5 minutes per tree. At the appointed hour, the first
and third Labourers were at site while the second Labourer was absent. The present labourers sought for advice from
their Lawyer. The legal advice was short and precise: ‘Just do your parts’. Accordingly,
the two Labourers proceeded to do their job thus: the first dug the hole. Five
minutes interval was given after which the third Labourer closed the whole. When
confronted by the hirer, their Lawyer surfaced and insisted that his clients
had performed their respective portions of the contracts. He even cited the
contract document to support same. True as his assertion may be, they ended up obtaining
money from the poor man without a single tree planted. These are the type of
Lawyers we have today”, the man concluded. The applause in the bus was
deafening.
To keep my sanity, I peered through the
window screen to observe the street. The endless lines of motors, motorcycles
and tricycles; throngs of pedestrians, dusty feet of countless hawkers, school
children, naked babies crying by the side of their beggar mothers, boys smoking
weeds by the corner and the howling voice of the faceless crowd. The street was
coloured with sounds, dust, empty smiles and plenty pains. Meanwhile, the
well-fed politician wore his perpetual smile from the lofty heights of the
multi-metre billboard.
Just before vehicular movement resumed; I
sighted a dirty sticker on one of the many tricycles. The message was apt: “we deserve what we get”. Whether or not
the rider understands the import of the message, at least in the context it impacted on me, is left to be known. Do I agree with this
assertion? I do not know but I can’t stop to wonder what it posits. If the
assertion is to be true, it means that we all deserve to be held up in this
traffic jam, that we deserve the murky roads leading to it; we also deserve the
irresponsible road marshals, politicians and a broken government. What about
the crying babies, the unemployed youths smoking away their lives, the quack
medicine peddler and the commuters he swindled. Do they all deserve what they have got? Do we always deserve what we get?
In my mind, it is hard to say that as
individuals, we always deserve what we get; but as a people, wouldn’t things have been different if we cared to do
more than just our little respective parts? If we took the extra steps to get
others do their parts as well?
This is the wisdom in the funny man’s story. We,
the people seem to concentrate in doing just our part without minding whether
our neighbours do theirs. The result is that no tree is planted on our farms,
and as a result, we are exposed to the scorching suns of this world. We are
also vulnerable to the recklessness of the political rascals and the
mindlessness of every swindler. This, like the traffic jam, impedes our
progress as a people.
Case rested.
.....................................................................................................................
Monday, November 7, 2011
NIGERIA WILL RISE OR FALL TOGETHER
Guest written by Chinonso Olonu
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| Google Images |
Picture this if you can. You are sixteen years old and your family
belongs to one of the 64.4% of Nigerians who live in poverty. Meaning that you survive
on less than $1.25 everyday. Definitely you did not choose to be born into this
kind of world. But it happened.
Continuing with the scenario; at the age of sixteen, you attend a
failing public school with ill-motivated teachers or disgruntled NYSC tutors,
yet still hopeful of acquiring good literacy and numeracy skills. How well will
you do in national examinations like WAEC, JAMB and NECO If your parents cannot
afford the time and resources to arrange supplementary lessons? Yet you still hope.
Imagine too, that in your community, one or more individuals hold
government positions and live in unalloyed opulence and comfort. Now, these
individuals have no background as business owners or evidence of private
enterprises, but they drive exotic cars and live in magnificent mansions. They gleefully
display their “good fortune” and are endlessly feted by religious and community
leaders.
Now, because you do not have police bodyguards and 14 feet high
fence walls with barbed wires, you are more likely to be murdered, robbed,
assaulted, raped, kidnapped and defrauded. And when this happens, the police
never seem to have the resources or motivation to bring the perpetrators to
justice.
Living in this world; what would be your incentive to believe in
your country, in your government or in the due process of law?
Oh yes, Nigeria has many problems and very often it serves no
purpose to talk about them – just for the sake of moaning or complaining. (That
is not to say that it is not important to moan and complain). Indeed it is vital
that we continuously hold the democratically elected leadership of the nation
accountable by reminding them of the problem ordinary Nigerians face. However
that will not in itself solve the problems and whatever else might be debated.
Nigeria is not Libya or Egypt. We are too multi-ethnic and we
hate and distrust each other too much for that to happen. In addition, our
system of tribal balancing in the allocation of power and resources effectively
sacrifices merit for the sake of visual or ostensible equity. And the result? The
entrenchment of systemic mediocrity.
However we have the advantage of running a democratic system of
government which is slowly but surely evolving to a stage where one may
contemplate saying that it actually reflects the wishes of the electorate. That
is an advantage Libya and Egypt did not have: our democracy, imperfect as it
is, is still an effective shock absorber that disperses the devastating
pressure of our economic and social injustices – aided along the way by our
election tribunals.
But as important as having a functioning democratic system is,
it is vital to also have a ruling elite, governing class, political actors or
factions that understand the absolute necessity to think critically and far
ahead. This means leadership that sees the country from particular points of
view, a philosophy if you will, which allows them to conceive a vision for
where the country should go or should do.
The way I would frame a governing philosophy is thus; do I want to
lead or be part of a society that condemns a child to a life of want and
suffering from the moment of birth until his death? What am I doing to expand
the frontiers of opportunity for the people in my charge? And finally am I
ready and competent enough to make the lives of others better than when I met
them? The way a Nigerian leader answers these questions can tell you everything
you need to know about that leader.
Nigeria has serious problems which in time, if left unaddressed
will sink the nation into utter dysfunction. By this I do not mean a civil war
but something that really feels like it. A state of perpetual siege, capital
flight, brain drain, declining levels of investment and employment, rising
crime and terrorism, greater ethnic tension and competition for even more
limited resources resulting from slow economic expansion.
Many live in cities and villages where Boko Haram and other militants
habitually run amok. These people await an inevitable death sentence; imposed
by a silent government. Yet, they too are the earth.
Corruption is too profitable and there is no disincentive to be
clean. None! Apart from some (non-universal) hope of salvation in heaven after
death. Corruption must be addressed with brutality and determination. Nigeria
will not have room to prosper with corruption still in the house. We have to
reduce the size of our government and pay those that remain enough to be honest
and focus on their jobs. We have to make every Naira and every kobo count and
engender a culture that celebrates accomplishment not money and wealth. (Think
Steve Jobs and Tayo Aderinokun).
We need to buy and import a lot less and plant, grow and
manufacture more so we can sell and export more. That’s how the jobs will be
come. We need to create the environment for young people to go to school and
come out with an education that is useful, practical and in demand. We have to
understand that we will rise or fall together as a nation and that the poorer
the least of us is, the more at risk all of us are. We have to think like a
nation and not as individuals. Some may call these conservative principles but
they are quite simply reasonable starting points for a governing philosophy.
Will it be difficult? Certainly!
But ask yourself this; do you think youths who take part in kidnapping
and militancy know better or have something better to do? Do you think they are
as well educated or exposed as the reader of this piece?
Do you think it makes sense to spend most of our national income
on paying government salaries and perks than on schools, roads, power stations,
healthcare or in helping farmers, manufacturers and small businesses? Do you
think 18,000 Naira is a decent wage for an honest public sector worker? Do you
think Nigerians should continue the habit of not paying their taxes? Do you
think political jobs should be so lucrative and financially rewarding? Do you
think Nigerians should die before the age of 51 – given our life expectancy and
poor healthcare system? Do you think sitting on our backside and leaving
everything to God and prayers is how policy is made and great nations make
progress?
I do not know the answers to these questions but I think Nigerians
and Nigerian leaders should talk about them more. Maybe, only then can we
figure out an approach that makes sense at the end of the day. Mind, I say approach; because we are not asking for
solutions yet. We only need strategy.
God bless our country.
Nice 'pieces'. Emotive and Informative.
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